Good Listening Skills Critical in Good Designers

By Andrea Pyenson, Boston Globe Correspondent | December 29, 2005

It is a relationship you should enter into carefully, because you will be granting this person fairly open access to your life. It could start at your front door or entryway and progress to the bedroom -- maybe gradually, maybe bypassing all the rooms in between. And if things go well, the relationship could continue for several months, or even years.

''Personality is definitely a factor," says Dennis Duffy, one of Boston's premier interior designers, when asked what people should look for when choosing a professional to help decorate their home. ''The person has to listen to you. If a designer isn't asking you pertinent questions, that's a bad sign." He notes that potential clients should expect designers to ask: How does your family live? How do you spend your time when you're at home?

Julia Bosland, an interior designer based in Wellesley, agrees with that assessment. ''The most important trait in a designer is to listen rather than to try to influence [clients] with your own taste and style."

Christina Oliver, a past president of the New England chapter of the American Society of Interior Designers, says people should ask themselves four things about any designer they are considering hiring: Does the person listen? Is this person addressing my issues? Is he or she clear about the costs? Are my concerns being answered?

''You're building a long-term relationship with someone," says Oliver, a former social worker who has an office in Newton. ''You want someone who's sensitive to your needs."

Relationships between designers and clients can be as interactive or hands-off as the clients want. ''Clients have to take the initiative and let the designer know how involved they want to be," Bosland says. ''I work with a lot of full-time working women who have no time to shop. Others just need a facilitator."

''I much prefer working with people where they're really involved in the process," Oliver says. ''I want to create an environment that reflects who the person is."

Patricia Freysinger has worked with Oliver on two homes, in Newton and Madison, N.H., over more than 10 years. ''I could never have done this myself," she says, motioning to the colorful, 25-by-8 1/2-foot rug that pulls together her cozy, gumwood-paneled living room and ties it in with the rest of the house via the coordinated runner going up the nearby staircase.

Freysinger met Oliver when her twin teenage sons were in nursery school. Oliver was choosing colors for the church where the boys' school was housed. When she learned, through another parent at the school, that Oliver was a designer, Freysinger asked her to help select paint colors for the exterior of her house. That led to the rug, which led to custom-made living room furniture and mahogany radiator covers, and ultimately the entire house.

''I really like to be involved," Freysinger says. ''I went with her to select everything. Christina is out there, so she sees products . . . what's around. She doesn't force her style, and she's good about whatever your budgetary needs are."

Word of mouth is also what led Shannon Hayden to Bosland, whose children attended school with hers. Hayden had already had a negative experience with a decorator in her Newton home. ''She'd bring things to me. We didn't go shopping together." The decorator was trying to unload a rug that previous clients had decided they didn't want. Hayden bought it, reluctantly, and watched as the woman fashioned a living room around it. The result is lovely, but, Hayden says, ''it's just not me," and her family rarely uses it.

After another parent at her children's school told Hayden that Bosland was a designer, she asked her to help decorate her daughter's room. It was a comfortable, collaborative process. Hayden says she appreciates that Bosland ''doesn't push ideas on me. I trust her." Once her daughter's room was finished, Hayden worked with Bosland on her sons' room, her home office, and the children's playroom in the basement.

Now Hayden and her husband are building a house in Newton, and she has begun shopping with Bosland to fill it. They have been looking for rugs, furniture, fabrics, and other items primarily, but not exclusively, at the Boston Design Center, which has 78 showrooms of high-end furniture, fabrics, lighting, wall coverings, art, and accessories. ''The Design Center is a great resource in Boston," says Bosland, ''but I'm not afraid to go to Pottery Barn and other places."

For those who are not lucky enough to find interior designers through personal referrals, decorator show houses are another good source, as each room is usually done by a different designer. People can see what they like and call designers of the rooms that appeal to them.

The design center (www.bostondesign.com) also has a designer referral service. For an annual fee, clients can have unlimited access to the center, which is normally open only to designers and their clients, and four hours of a designer's time, either at the center or in their home (or a combination of both). It is a good option for people who might not want to make a full commitment to working with a designer or who have a small project but want to find more unusual items than are available at large furniture or national chain stores.

Because there are different types of relationships between designers and clients, there are different fee arrangements. Most commonly, designers charge a straight hourly rate; a combination of an hourly rate and a mark-up on the price of products the clients purchase through them; or a percentage of the project's cost. ''Most designers will talk to clients and see what they are looking for before deciding how to charge," says Alexis Contant, vice president of marketing at the design center. ''Some clients know what their budget priorities are. Some designers help clients figure out their priorities." This is one of the most important issues for clients to discuss with designers when they are beginning their search.

Duffy suggests conducting initial interviews at the designer's office so the client can get a feel for the designer's environment, personality, and work habits. He also advises asking designers about their educational background and how long they have been in business. This is particularly important in Massachusetts, which does not have certification requirements. Duffy always gives prospective clients two years' worth of references and recommends calling several of them.

''If you are ambivalent after that, ask them to come to your house," he says. It just might be the start of a beautiful relationship.